Relationship and Couple Counselling
There are points in all our relationships when we start to notice that things are changing, and not always for the better, sometimes it is a gradual feeling of drifting apart, and other times it can be so immediate and impactful it can send our lives into freefall.
Many couples will have a feeling of getting stuck in a rut, or loosing that spark that was there in the beginning of the relationship, or just feeling unheard and unseen or taken for granted.
Arguments and lack of communication is part of continuing a conflict, and a general feeling of being stuck, and unable to move forward or past these arguments or resolving them so they seem to fester or escalate.
A break in trust through affair or behaviour can be devastating to a relationship, and it can feel like it is beyond repair and the damage so impactful, there is no hope to ever see a resolution weather that is to stay together or to part amicably.
Why counselling?
How can counselling help us?
Having a neutral calm space to focus on you as a couple, and for you both to feel heard is key. Lack off or struggles with communication, can quickly feel like being on a roundabout that is difficult to get off, and quite often the blame game can begin, with one feeling that they are right with the other ultimately in the wrong or to blame which can cause resentment or a stale mate scenario and as we know no one wins in the blame game.
I have no judgement or opinion, I don't take sides and I am completely objective and can sometimes see things from a different perspective or view but ultimately my aim is for you to work together to get you to your goal, but also give you the tools in your toolbox to be able to bring them into your relationship moving forward so that you can prevent or work quickly and effectively to resolve issues before they get to a point of no return.
After an Affair
An emotional or physical affair can be devastating and has been described as "feeling like the life they knew was a lie" or "feeling they don't know who this person is anymore" or "feel like their world has ended" It is important to be able to express the feelings that you are both having, and be able to know that it is O.K. to feel angry, resentful, guilty, shame and all the other emotions that are trying to be understood, heard and processed and being able to have a space where there are no distractions is important for you to both work on the relationship weather that is staying together or parting amicably.
Anger and Conflict
It is not uncommon to have arguments and disagreements in our relationships, it is not always going to be that honeymoon stage where everything is roses and sometimes an argument can really clear the air, however, anger directed at each other in an unhealthy way can be damaging. Having an awareness of how to resolve conflict is something that can be worked through within couples counselling and by taking away the tools to address those "same arguments" before it escalates into everyday life can be a game changer for many.
Communication Difficulties
Not being able to communicate in a way where both people feel heard or seen can be a sticking point with some couples. One perhaps being distant or not really able to verbalise can be frustrating for both people and can cause a huge rift, some will feel that a wall is going up between them or that one is pulling away, this can be for many reasons from feeling overwhelmed and not able to express or vocalise how to say things or from feeling it will not be taken in the way they are hoping for. Having a way to communicate in a way that you are listening to each other and feel comfortable to and have those key tools to be able to do this can be really empowering for a couple.